I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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