so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
