Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
