she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
