Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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