i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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