great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
