Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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