I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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