As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
