What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
