It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
