this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
