we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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