I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
