Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
