What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
