soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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