Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
