the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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