You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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