just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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