There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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