Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
