Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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