Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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