Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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