is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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