we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
