My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Are we in a gay sports bar?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just found a bag of teeth...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
