Sponge bath it is.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
