I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
