Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
