last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
