During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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