I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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