She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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