I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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