I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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