did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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