I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
