Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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