Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
