P.S. I can't hear my feet
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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