If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
