I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
