Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
