capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
