STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
