The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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