Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize