Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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