He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
