When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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